Chapter Fourteen: Darkness in the Love

Tranith Argan: Book 4

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They are back in Elaria, but all is not well between Felanar and Alessa.

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Later Felanar returned to Llarand's tree for lunch and there met up with Kara.

“Where have you been?” asked Felanar over the lunch table.

“Visiting with Narón,” Kara smiled.

“Narón,” repeated Felanar with surprise. “What is he doing here?”

“The news of our return has spread among the Erenár ships,” she said. “They have a very fast way of communicating news of note, and evidently we are noteworthy. He heard the news last night and quickly sailed here overnight. He came to see me early this morning and we spent the morning talking and catching up on news.”

“I see keeping the news of our survival will be hard to keep down,” he frowned.

“Not necessarily, brother. The Erenár keep to themselves. Our news may be big among them, but to whom are they going to spread this news?”

“True,” he said quietly. “Well, we have much to talk about with Llarand.”

“Yes, we do,” said Kara just as quietly as they continued with their lunch. Felanar said little but looked preoccupied for several minutes. His sister quickly understood its source.

“What has happened between you and Alessa?”

Felanar stared straight ahead and shrugged his shoulders.

“So it's not something I'm imagining,” she continued, “she really is behaving differently.”

Felanar nodded. “Ever since the village of East Bank. She has behaved coldly to me since before that tribal council, when they were insulting her and I cautioned her not to be so offended. Ever since then she has been distant with me. I fear I insulted her elven pride.”

“Have you spoken to her about this?” asked Kara.

“I tried once,” he answered, “but she said we were still friends and anything else she may have felt on the trip was just a momentary feeling. I don't believe it, sister, but that is what she told me. She has changed.”

“I don't believe it either,” said Kara. “She may be behaving coldly to you, but I think it's just an act. She does love you, she always has. I just feel it.”

Felanar stared at his sister as if trying to see from her face the truth of what she was saying.

“Talk to her,” urged Kara.

“I have!”

“Try again.”

Felanar thought for a moment and then nodded.

“I will,” he said softly. Finishing his lunch he got up and asked again of Llarand's whereabouts.

“He is calling upon Lloánan, Lledar and Llafála,” said a knight standing guard.

“The elf lords of the regions of Elaria,” said Felanar.

“Indeed,” said the knight.

“So he will not be available to talk this afternoon?”

“I can have word sent by hawk, if you wish,” said the knight.

“No, no, not necessary, I was just curious,” said Felanar. “Thank you.”

The knight bowed his head slightly.

“Might as well find Alessa now,” he said to Kara.

“Good luck,” she replied.

Finding her proved simple. Alessa was well known to all elves, and any elf he found as he walked through the forest had seen her earlier that day or just a few moments ago and he soon caught up to her. Near a clearing, Alessa was talking to a hawk that Felanar recognized as being her friend Tassair. Otherwise she was alone, a fact that gave Felanar comfort.

“Felanar!” Alessa cried when she heard his approach. “Look, Tassair, it is our old friend Felanar!”

The hawk squawked softly and flew over to Felanar.

“It is good to see you, Tassair,” said Felanar in his best hawk-tongue as he held out his arm for the hawk. Tassair landed and returned the greeting and said that Felanar looked well. Felanar thanked him and glanced at Alessa who was looking on proudly.

“He missed me,” she said. “He had not seen me for a very long time and had searched widely for me, but never expected me to be west of the River Arenton, he said, so he never looked in the wilderness.”

Tassair squawked again and took off and began flying lazy circles over the two of them.

Alessa came up to Felanar and gave him a hug.

“How are you this day, my friend?” she asked in the most friendly way possible.

“I am well, thanks.”

“Has my mother looked at your wounds yet?”

“No, not yet. I haven't seen her this morning.”

“She will find you and take good care of you.”

“You did a fine job by yourself, Alessa.”

“I learned my skills from her, she is the one who can really erase any wound you have if it has not been too long since they were inflicted. I think she can make your back completely whole in appearance, not just in feel.”

“Thank you,” said Felanar, “for caring about me.”

“Of course I care about you! You know that.”

“Yes, I know, but you acted coolly toward me in recent days and I began to wonder how you felt. You told me that you did not love me any more.”

“I always cared for you and still do. You are my friend, Felanar, and will always be such.”

“But just a friend?” Felanar's voice was tentative.

“A friend . . . yes, very much a friend,” said Alessa warmly, if somewhat hesitatingly.

“Nothing more?”

Alessa frowned.

“What more could there be between an elf and a man?”

“I think Helóne answered that,” said Felanar. “My lineage is part elf, is it not? So clearly there can be more between an elf and a man than just friendship, and I want more than friendship with you, Alessa. I love you.”

Alessa looked uncomfortable.

“I think Helóne may not be the best example of happiness,” she said in a low voice.

“That is something unique to her circumstances. I intend to talk to your father about her and get her back among her people. You would have no such problems, Alessa. You are loved by your people and you would be loved by my own!”

“Maybe,” she said slowly, as if thinking out a very long future.

“I'm sure of it!” he insisted.

“I am not,” she said simply.

“What are your fears?” he asked.

“There are many,” she said, “and much that I am not ready to discuss.”

“But you do love me?” asked Felanar.

Alessa hesitated.

“You said you did,” insisted Felanar.

“Actually, I did not.”

“Well, you showed it,” he countered.

“I know I care about you, Felanar. Is that not enough?”

Felanar frowned. He saw that Alessa was feeling uncomfortable and he did not want to press her while she felt that way. He finally nodded.

“At present, it is enough,” he said. “But know that I love you, and always will.”

With that he turned and walked away without ever turning back, though if he had done so he would have seen that her eyes never left his retreating form until he was gone from sight.

Felanar returned to the tree and there ran into Heléste, who said she had been looking for him. She took him to a quiet area, had him remove his shirt, and spent the rest of the afternoon tending to the remains of the wounds he had suffered. By evening she was done and she promised him that by morning, or at worst the morning after next, he would be completely healed, with no trace of whip remaining to be seen or felt.

“If you had waited another month,” she cautioned as he put his shirt back on, “I fear I could not have prevented some scars from remaining permanently.”

“Thank you, Heléste, for your care,” he said.

“It was something I was pleased to do. You are a friend.”

Hearing that word made Felanar depressed but he smiled for her anyway and then went to join the others for dinner.

The next few days were spent waiting for Llarand to return with the other elf lords. Once he returned, he and Felanar planned a council for the next day and word was sent to all invited.

Felanar lay in the dark in bed that night and spoke quietly with his sister in a nearby bed.

“I spoke with Llarand about Helóne today,” he said.

“Oh? What was his response? Is he going to allow her to return to Elaria?”

“Maybe,” said Felanar. “He seemed hesitant to contradict a decision of his father.”

“That is how the trouble for her continued all that time ago,” said Kara.

“I explained how much she wants to return, how much she has suffered through loneliness, and even what Helóne said about the dragons, how allowing her to return home might help us with the dragons.”

“What did he say to that?”

“I think that surprised him, actually. I think that made a difference in his attitude. I wish it were not so. I wish he would have changed out of empathy for her loneliness. I tell you, Kara, this is another example of the problem with power! His father ruled a certain way and Llarand hesitates to overturn that ruling. I think he fears crossing his father's power even after his father is gone. What good is power if it cannot be used correctly for each situation but must instead be put through a maze of conflicting circumstances? You want to act one way but fear of, or respect for, the power of another makes you act in a different way. Power is always a series of calculations. I'm sick of it! I just want that old woman to have a home that makes her happy. Am I wrong for wanting such a simple thing?”

“You are not wrong,” said Kara. “This is why you make a good king, for you care about others and not just yourself.”

“Thank you, Kara,” said Felanar. “You are always encouraging.”

“Sleep well, brother. Tomorrow there is much to discuss and plan.”